View on Cancer

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In my observation every deceased person is in his astral form - as we’ve known him - present at his funeral or cremation. Simply said: You are at your own funeral.

The church in Cothen was packed with 500/600 people during Joost’s burial service. But Joost wasn’t there in his astral form. In this case something else happened. Joost filled the whole church and everybody there with his energy en consciousness, with his warm clear presence, the way we knew him. As if he was there in person. And he was. With everybody, everywhere, in the whole church, back to front. From the beginning of the service until the end, one unaltered consciousness.

On the cemetary the same thing happened. Joost’s warm, clear presence filled all familymembers and friends that were gathered around the coffin, like a cloud of knowledge and conscious-being. We were actualy attached to him. Leaving the cemetary we didn’t leave Joost, as is usual with burials, but he kept staying with us with his multidimensional consciousness. It felt so natural, no one noticed it at first. May we forever remember Joost as: He who is present.

Het is naar mijn waarneming zo dat iedere overledene in astrale vorm, dus in de gestalte zoals we hem of haar gekend hebben, op de begrafenis of crematie aanwezig is. Simpel gezegd: je bent op je eigen begrafenis. (Zie hiervoor het artikel op mijn website: Sterven, Stervensbegeleiding en Leven na de dood. www.energetischwerken.nl)

De kerk in Cothen was tijdens Joost’s uitvaartdienst van voor tot achter en ook in de zijbeuken helemaal vol met zo’n 500/600 mensen.
Maar Joost was niet in de astrale vorm van zijn lichaam aanwezig.
Wel was er wel heel iets anders. Joost vulde met zijn energie en bewustzijn zowel de hele kerk als alle aanwezigen, met zijn warme, heldere aanwezigheid- zoals we hem gekend hebben. Alsof hij er heel persoonlijk bij was. En dat was hij. Bij iedereen, overal, in de hele kerk, van voor tot achter. Van het begin van de herdenkingsdienst tot aan het einde, een onveranderd bewustzijn.

Op het kerkhof gebeurde hetzelfde. Joost’s warme, heldere aanwezigheid vulde als een wolk van weten en bewust-zijn alle familieleden en vrienden die rondom zijn kist verzameld waren. Wij waren live met hem verbonden.
Toen we het kerkhof verlieten lieten we Joost niet achter, zoals gebruikelijk bij een ter aarde bestelling, maar was hij met zijn multidimensionaal bewustzijn gewoon bij ons. Het was zo gewoon dat het eerst niet eens opviel.
Joost ging ook niet met ons mee toen we het kerkhof verlieten, maar bleef ‘gewoon aanwezig’. Bij zijn lichaam en bij ons.
Mogen we Joost blijven gedenken als: hij die aanwezig is

Dear Jennifer, dear Sam & Katy, dear family, dear friends. I stand here on behalf of my Jaarclub to share some of our thoughts on this moment of sorrow for Joost his departure. Also a moment of gratitude and celebration of his life, and the way his life touched ours.

Joost – The gentle giant with the radiant eyes and the generous, open-hearted smile.

Since September 1988 the moment we started university studies in Delft, and we all stepped into a new and determining episode of out lives, Joost has been an integral part of our lives. Thinking of this we realized that we have known Joost more than half of our lives and roughly 100% of our adult lives.

Together as the jaarclub Gilbert, we built a foundation on which we based our further friendship together. On that solid base we have grown together. Not only as a group of friends, but as individuals as well.
These last few months we have come to realize how strong this foundation actually is, and the part that Joost played in building it. Not only as one of the bricks but also as the cement that kept us together.

Last night, some of us sat together and we shared our thoughts and memories of Joost. A true evening of tears and laughter where we tried to paint just a little piece of the beautiful picture Joost is to us and to all of you here today. Some thoughts came to our mind.

• Joost was always there fully, never half. Even if he had only been there for less than an hour, you had the feeling that he had been there the entire time.

• Joost was not a follower, he followed his own plan, he had his own style

• Joost was a catalyst for everyone, a magnet, a continuous self re-inventor. Not afraid to question things or reflect upon himself.

• Joost stimulated debate and enjoyed it thoroughly, he was headstrong where it mattered, and was compliant where it didn’t. Always making his own choices trusting his own judgement. When needed Joost would be the voice of conscious of our club with the unique combination of energy and serenity at the same time

• Joost respected everybody and did not judge anyone. He was sincere in his interest in the people that he met. He made you feel welcome. Probably all of you will still remember the first time you met him. A big warm personality with a big, big heart, that he had, the willingness to help others.

• Joost always needed a loaf of bread with plenty of Beemster cheese.

• Joost was full of creativity and enjoyed playing music with his friends. Give him a piano and he would play a tune. With some luck he would start singing “Vlieg met me mee naar de regenboog…”. And he would not stop until everybody joined in.

• Joost was the brain behind playing soccer on the beach, walks in the woods, playing games. Making small things great. Things did not have to be spectacular. Being with friends was what mattered, not what you did.

• Joost had golden ideas and great ambitions and the energy to conquer the world. An example was his revolutionary folding table design that would conquer the world, he was convinced it would work. Just one example of his energy and belief in his own ideas.

• Joost was a man of reason and analysis combined with great sensitivity and deep spirituality.

• Above all, Joost was love, friendship and loyalty to his friends and family.

Yesterday we had a great time digging up memories, sharing stories and looking at pictures. It triggered only good memories, and great moments of laughter. We listened to Joost and Sander’s podcast from February 9, and it filled us with both joy and sadness. It was so natural to hear Joost’s voice, half expecting him to come bashing in, blaming us for having started the party without him. We will truly miss him.

Joost, you are alive to us, and you are with us forever, anywhere.

Our thoughts are with Jennifer, Katy, Sam and all the family.

Joost passed away like he has lived.

First I mention his great heart

When somebody has passed away, it takes about an hour to withdraw ones aura. The aura is composed of the 3 spiritual bodies of the soul. Each of the spirit bodies takes 15 to 20 minutes ‘to be brought home’…
in the heart point, here in the middle of the chest.
That’s why we don’t touch a body after death for an hour;
so we did with Joost.

When this had happened there was something strange. Joost’s heart itself did not close but after 7-8 minutes. I had never seen this before. While his heart was closing so slowly, I began to understand the reason: Joost has a great heart. So he did need all that time to close his great heart.
Joost’s great heart is a comfort (troost) to us.

Joost’s surrender
A very difficult part of the last night with Joost was talking about surrendering his body (zijn lichaam over te geven). It was so difficult because Joost had fought like a lion to cure his body, until he had fallen in coma, Monday morning.
Also for me it was heartbreaking because I had supported him in it for 10 months. Like I often said, joking to him: Joost, we do our utmost, and beyond the utmost the utmost.

So I asked Joost being in coma: Joost can you give up your body by
free will?
In the last night of his life in his body we had talked about the failure of the medicine he had got, sutent; his brain damage, perhaps he had also had a heart infarct.
He understood quite clear that he could only continue his life in this body, his beloved body, like a plant, on a vegetative level.
And I added: Joost you will need all your strength to pass away in a good way (om op een goede manier over te gaan).

His eyes showed tears like when he, Jennifer and I had seen us the afternoon before. Then he got the expression of an Egyptian Lion king, while Jennifer looked tender, fine and frele, as a beautiful young Egyptian woman, well-known from pictures: old connections of the soul.
A Lion king connects nature and spirit, by soul.
Such a soul is a Great Soul.

It took some time in which he struggled with himself. I tried to help him with: Joost I know this is the most difficult choice in your life. This is your Calvary Mountain. You reached the top. There is no way back.
Tears filled his eyes.

When I came back after a break there was another Joost. He had conquered (overwonnen) his Lion, while Jennifer was sleeping beside him.
The significance of Joost’s surrendering and offering by free will his young life is that he fully completed his life (zijn leven volledig voltooide), although it was broken at the half. Why?
Because his free surrender gave him a gift, like we we’ll see, he could have required in a whole life of for example 73 years.
His circle of life was round.
We can be grateful that he could harvest this completion (deze voltooiing kon oogsten).

That Joost showed his spiritual clearness and strong willpower at the supreme moment of his life is also a comfort for us.

Joost’s dimension of light.

Some minutes after Joost’s soul had passed away, he showed us his sphere of light. I’ve seen much light in my life, but seldom had I seen such a brilliance of light. Joost’s home in the spheres is a home, in a high dimension of light.

And moreover: Joost showed us what he had required (verworven) in the time of his wonderful inner growth: At the same time he was at home in his light sphere and with us! His soul is beyond the dimension of time and place. Joost’s soul can be at 2 places at the same time, we call that bilocation (bilocatie). That is what he required in this life on earth. So that he can support Jennifer in her life and will be there when Katy will marry and Sam will finish his study… like Joost hoped and wished.

It is a comfort for us that Joost reached this high spiritual level.

May I invite you to be silent for some moments?
to listen with the stillness of your heart
to Joost’s Great Heart.

Thank you Joost, for all we experienced and shared.

<for English translation scroll down>

Joost, lieve broer

Jij bent altijd de archetypische grote broer geweest. Een voorbeeld in veel opzichten, naar wie ik vaak opkeek. Je was nooit autoritair; je legde niemand iets op. Wel was je uitnodigend: met je energie nodigde je mij - en anderen - vaak uit om mee te doen. Je management kwaliteiten heb je in die zin al op vroege leeftijd binnen onze familie weten te ontwikkelen.

We deden veel samen als kinderen: hockeyen en voetballen met de buurtkinderen, lego, van alles. We hadden ieder onze eigen stijl: Jij maakte iets dat kon bewegen, dat iets kon doen, met tandwielen en zo, en ik maakte iets dat er mooi uitzag, maar waaraan niks bewoog. En in plaats van dat jij mijn maaksel nutteloos vond en ik de jouwe lelijk, bewonderde jij het mooie aan mijn maaksel en ik de ingenieuziteit en het leuke (wat je ermee kon doen) van die van jou. Postive reinforcement hebben we van jongsafaan thuis geoefend.

Jij was vaak de spil binnen de familie om samen met de broers en zus iets te organiseren. Zo hebben we vroeger vaker het kerstverhaal opgevoerd, als soortement toneelstukje, voor onze ouders en visite die er dan vaak was. Ik weet nog hoe wij dagenlang (of was het weken?) het kerstverhaal van Dick Bruna aan het overtekenen waren om dat dan voor te dragen, begeleid door blokfluit en jij die de tekst voordroeg. Jij was meestal de regisseur en ook de inspirator.

Ook droegen we wel eens een zelfgemaakt journaal voor (papa houdt tenslotte zo van het journaal). Het hoogtepunt was dan het weerbericht: het sneeuwde en hagelde en er was een orkaan en een tornado en een overstroming en daarna was het dan 30 graden met zonneschijn. Als meteoroloog zou ik daar nu mijn vraagtekens bij zetten wellicht, maar leuk was het wel.

Je was altijd heel veelzijdig. Spontaan en gezellig, en ook diepgaand en serieus. Een techneut, maar ook heel gevoelig en je kreeg steeds beter contact met je emoties. Juist in je laatste jaar hier heb je je gigantisch ontwikkeld. Spiritueel en emotioneel. Je gelooft in wonderen. En dat doe ik ook. Wellicht is het een wonder wat je allemaal gedaan hebt in je leven. Wat je allemaal betekent voor zoveel mensen. De manier waarop je je ziekte hebt getrotseerd, en ondanks alle tegenslagen bleef genieten van het leven. Dat vind ik heel knap. En hoe je nu ongetwijfeld ook vrede hebt met waar je nu bent. Je bent in vrede heengegaan. Je leeft voort in de herinnering van velen. En we zullen je herinnering levend houden.

Tot ziens, Joost. Ik houd van je.
Joost, dear brother,

You have always been a real “big brother”. An example in many ways, whom I often looked up to. You were never authoritative; you would never force something upon someone. Rather, you were inviting: with your energy you often invited me – and others - to participate. As such you have started to develop your management qualities already at an early age in our family.

We did many things together as kids: playing (field) hockey and football (soccer) with the neighborhood kids, lego, all kinds of things. We each had our own style: you made something with moving parts, which could do something, with cogwheels and such. I made something that looked nice but which couldn’t move or do anything. You wouldn’t judge what I made as being useless, and I didn’t judge yours as being ugly. Instead, you admired the beauty of what I made and I admired your ingenuity and the fun stuff you could do with yours. Positive reinforcement is something we have practiced at home from an early age on.

You were often the centre when it came to organizing something with the brothers and sisters. As little children, we often performed the Christmas story as a kind of play, for our parents and visitors who would often be there at Christmas time. I remember how we spent days (or was it weeks?) copying and drawing Dick Bruna’s Christmas story in order to use it for our performance, accompanied by flute and you, reciting the text. You were often the inspiration as well as the director.

We also performed our own homemade news on several occasions. (After all, papa liked the evening news so much.) The highlight would be the weather forecast: it snowed and hailed and there was a hurricane, a tornado and a flood, followed by 30 degrees Celsius and sunshine. As a meteorologist, I would perhaps question such a forecast right now, but it sure was fun.

You have always been well-rounded: spontaneous and fun, while also being deep and serious; a techie, but also very sensitive, and you got better and better in touch with your emotions. Especially during your last year, you have developed yourself immensely, spiritually and emotionally. You believe in miracles. And so do I. Maybe it is a miracle what you all have done in your life. What you mean to so many people. The way in which you faced your disease, and despite all tribulations kept on enjoying the small things in life. That I find admirable. And how you have accepted where you are now. You left in peace. You will continue having a place in the hearts of many. We will keep your memory alive.

See you, Joost. I love you.

Wat is het leven prachtig
Life is beautiful
De vogels zingen
Birds are singing
De zon schijnt
The sun is shining
Bloemen bloeien
Flower bloom
En toen opeens
And suddenly
Was het stil
Silence

Lieve mensen,
Dear people,
Voordat ik iets zeg tegen Joost, wil ik jullie vertellen hoe geweldig jullie met elkaar en voor elkaar zijn geweest.
Before saying something to Joost, I would like to say to you how great you all have been, together and for each other.

De laatste maanden zijn voor velen een emotionele, en soms zelfs spirituele, reis geweest, waar pijn van verdriet samen gingen met gevoelens van diepe en hechte vriendschap.
The past months have for many been an emotionele, sometimes even spiritual journey, where pain and sorrow went hand in hand with feeling of deep and solid friendship.

Dank jullie wel voor de mooie dingen die jullie gedaan hebben in deze moeilijke tijd. Samen ben je nooit alleen.
Thank you all for the beautiful things you did together in these hard time. Together one is never alone.

Jennifer,

Woorden schieten tekort, vragen blijven onbeantwoord en jouw pijn moet onvoorstelbaar zijn.
Words cannot tell, questions remain unanswered and your pain must be beyond belief.
En nog steeds heb ik geen antwoord voor je.
And still, I have no answers for you.

Wat ik wel weet, is dat ik als best man op jullie huwelijk getuige ben geweest van het vinden van zijn grootste levensgeluk.
What I do know though, is that I, as best man at your wedding, I was witness of him finding his biggest happiness in life.

En ik weet zeker dat Katy en Sam de liefste vader hebben van hele wereld, en hemel.
And I know for certain that Katy and Sam have the sweetest father of the whole word, and heaven.

Ik hoop dat ik later als ze groot zijn, nog een keer de kans mag krijgen om ze te vertellen over hun geweldige vader.
I hope that later in life, when they’re grown up, I get a chance to tell them about their magnificent father.

Lieve Joost,

In de hemel is het altijd feest.
Heaven is one big continuing party.

Er staat een grote piano en een bar, slingers aan de muur en er is vast wel een gekke hoed die je op kunt zetten.
A grand piano stands there, party decoration on the walls and there is probably some crazy hat you can put on your head.

Natuurlijk is er een kasteel en speelt de band.
Obviously there is a castle, and the band is playing

Natuurlijk kom ik ook, en ik neem mijn cdtjes weer mee.
Obviously I will be there too, and will bring my music.

En God is er ook, die staat al op je te wachten aan de hemelpoort om je met open armen te ontvangen, want het is pas feest als jij er bent.
And off course, God will be there too, he is already waiting for you at Heaven’s Gate, cause a party is only a party if you have arrived.

Joost, met jou was de hemel hier op aarde.
Joost, life with you was heaven on earth.

Je maakte het leven een feest en tegelijkertijd zo betekenisvol, je hield zoveel van het leven met een hoofdletter L.
You made life such a party and at the same time so meaningful. You love life with a capital L soo much.

Des te groter moet je pijn zijn geweest om afscheid van het Leven te moeten nemen waar je zo veel van hield.
Your pain to part from Life must therefore have been even deeper.

Je hebt dan ook een bovenmenselijke strijd met gestreden met een ongekende wilskracht.
You have fought a super-human (beyond what a human can do) battle with unbelievable willpower.

Verliezen was geen optie, punt uit. Pijn was niets in verhouding tot verliezen, en je lichaam moest maar luisteren naar wat je het opdroeg.
Loosing was no option. Full stop. Pain was nothing compared to loosing (sorry, a nike marketing quote), and you body had better listen to your commands.

Ik hoop dat je na al deze strijd, nu rust kunt vinden in de hemel, en dat je weet dat je echt alles hebt gedaan wat je kon, en nog heel veel meer.
I hope that after all this fighting you will now find peace in heaven, and that you know that you really did everything you possibly could have done, and much more.

Want zelfs vanaf je ziektebed bleef je geven, je was een bron van liefde en inspiratie voor velen.
Because even when you were ill, you remained a source of love and inspiration for many.

Zo ook voor mij. Jij was degene die ons de weg wees, en een geweldig team bij elkaar bracht.
You were that for me too. You were the one showing us the way, and you brought together a fantastic team.
Het was dan ook een grote eer aan jouw zijde te hebben mogen strijden.
It has been a great honour to have been allowed (not quit the right word but the closest I could think of) to fight at your side.

Een strijd waarin ik nieuwe vrienden heb gemaakt, oude vrienden opnieuw heb leren kennen, maar meer nog, waarin vriendschap een diepere betekenis heeft gekregen.
A battle in which I made new friends, renewed friendships with old friends and, more importantly, in which friendship has gotten a deeper meaning.

Joost
Ik kan geen afscheid van je nemen, en ik doe het ook niet. Je bent voor altijd in mijn hart, je bent voor altijd mijn beste vriend en ik ga je onwaarschijnlijk missen.

Joost
I cannot say goodbuy to you, and I will not either. You are for always in my hart, you are for allways my best friend and I am going to miss you terribly.

So long brother,
Safe journey to the other side,
Go in peace,
Go well.

Today I’d like to tell you how Joost was as a son-in-law. In the United States, it is the custom for a young man wishing to marry a young woman to ask permission from her father. And sure enough, as if Joost were an American, he called me in February of 2002 to say that he wanted to marry Jennifer. I told what I expected of him as Jennifer’s husband, and he promised to fulfill my expectations. With that, I said yes to his request.
Since Joost became ill ten months ago, I have asked myself whether I would have given Joost the same answer if I had known then what I know now. In other words, in 2002, had I known that my daughter today would be left to face an uncertain and difficult future as a single mother in a foreign land, would I have still said yes to Joost? In 2002, had I known the pain and grief that my daughter would experience today, would have I still said yes to Joost?
I do not know how other fathers might answer this question, but as for me, the answer is the same one that I gave Joost six short years ago. In fact, it is much easier today than it was in 2002 to know that Joost was right for Jennifer. The past six years have been the best and happiness years of Jennifer’s life. Joost literally handed the sunshine to her. He was devoted to her, he provided for her, he gave her two marvelous children, he showed her Europe, he introduced her to loyal and generous friends, he brought her to Wijk bij Duurstede with its kind people, and he settled her in the wonderful house on Volderstraat.
Each one of these alone is a treasure to last a lifetime. Added together, they amount to a bounty of riches that will ease Jennifer’s pain, that will sustain Jennifer through an uncertain future, and that will enable Jennifer to move onward and upward.
Joost indeed kept his promise to me. No father could ask for more. For this great gift to my family, all that I can now say is simply: Dank je wel, Joost, dank je wel.